I'm really depressed and would like some suggestions?

Remind yourself of your good qualities. If you think you need antidepressants, don't be afraid to use them, they're supposed to help, but if you don't want to, that's fine. You're still young, things will change for you. It takes a lot of strength to stop using drugs and better yet, have no desire to use them again. You need someone to be able to talk to about anything. Forget about the people who left you in your life, no point in thinking about them. It's obvious that everyone isn't out to get you, i know it may seem like that at times but try to think of how unreal that actually is. You need to keep hope that things will change and you won't feel this way always. It's absolutely normal to fantasise for a better life, in fact you should keep doing that because it's almost like a goal for you. Try to acheive that better life, don't give up, there's a reason things haven't been going too well. Let your life take it's course, things don't change in a day. I don't know you, but i know how you feel and in that sense you're not alone even if you feel lonely. There's a reason your suicide attempt failed!